[B]It Ain't Half Hot Mum[/B]

IT AINT HALF HOT MUM

• Alex: 5.2/10, "I'd like to rate it higher, but there are too many poofs"

• Cyrus: 6/10, "Good show"

Season 1

- Episode 1 - 4.8/10 - Mutiny

- Episode 2 - 5.4/10 - Parkins son reveal

- Episode 3 - 5/10 - Punker wallah

- Episode 4 - 10/10* - Lost

- Episode 5 - 6.8/10 - Jungle Training

- Episode 6 - 10/10* - Lost

- Episode 7 - 7/10 - Transit to north west frontier

- Episode 8 - 6.4/10 - General Inspection

Season 2

- Episode 1 - 5/10 - Flag pole episode

- Episode 2 - 6.8/10 - Plane crash

- Episode 3 - 8.2/10 - Tearing up the flag

- Episode 4 - 5/10 - Cabaret plot

- Episode 5 - 5.5/10 - Holy man

- Episode 6 - 6.8/10 - Horny

- Episode 7 - 6/10 - Snake

- Episode 8 - 5.9/10 - Ruby Eyes

Season 3

- Episode 1 - 5/10 - Quarantine

- Episode 2 - 7.5/10 - Maharaja (pt 1)

- Episode 3 - 4.7/10 - Maharaja (pt 2)

- Episode 4 - 6.1/10 - Hypnosis

- Episode 5 - 7.2/10 - Blowpipe Orthodontist

- Episode 6 - 6.5/10 - Serjeant Graham

Season 4

- Episode 1 - 7/10 - BMS Williams vs. Gunner Sugden

- Episode 2 - 6.5/10 - Kidnap of Daphne (pt 1)

- Episode 3 - 5.8/10 - Kidnap of Daphne (pt 2)

- Episode 4 - 6.8/10 - Transvestites

- Episode 5 - 6.5/10 - Elephant

- Episode 6 - B - Hello I'm Rapey Ashwood

- Episode 7 - C - The British in India Play

- Episode 8 - C - Gnr. Parkins' 21st birthday

Season 5 (NEW RATING SYSTEM: Funny - P.C. - Structure - Premise - Bonus Ashwood Points)

- Episode 1 ("Moderate", "Average", "Poor". "Refreshing", 2 chickens + 1 bathrobe Ashwood + 4 PC chickens + 1 Ashwood moment) - Moving camp; Australians in my bed!

- Episode 2 ("Lacking", "As good as it gets", "Dragged", "Good", 1 frog + 1 WILCO + 2 any fool moment + 1 electrolux moment) - Building the (f/b)ridge

- Episode 3 ("Barren",  "Tolerable",  "Grand", "Adequete", 1 for monkey react shot + 1 for Sugden handjob - 3 for lack of Ashwood moments)

- Episode 4 ("Less", "As good as it gets", "Solid", "Splendid",  1 for "I hope they taste HORRIBLE" + 2 for Nangles moment)

- Episode 5 ("Middling", "Sure", "Logical", "Pretty good", 1 for foaming gag, -1 for evil doll but +1 for trumpet+doll at the same time)

- Episode 6 ("Yeah, alright",  "Wamp wamp", "Abrupt",  "Deja vu", + 1 beautiful guaranteed money-bag virgin saab + 1 law of the jungle rumble + 2 Ashwood will never smile again)

Season 6

• Episode 1 ("Maybe", "Fuck no, awful", "Declining", "Fitting",  - 1 for baby sugden + 1 for controlling Ashwood wife)

• Episode 2 ("Yeah", "Ehh", "Well-thought out", "Light-hearted",  +1 "surely they don't have a temple for that?!" + 1 short-fat guy not being there + 1 for leaving it to the Sergeant Major's discretion +1 for not calling)

• Episode 3 ("Yeah", "Alright", "Great", "Great",  +1 for "look here pretty boy", +1 for BSM crawling through the roof, +1 Beeeyooooiningining, + 1 my nanny told me not to speak to you: You're common!)

• Episode 4 (“Good”, “Trainwreck”, “Good”, “Middling”, 1 for the stiff trousers + 1 swim rally + lofty’s funeral + 1 for delegation)

• Episode 5 ("Yeah, had its moments", "Mediocre", "Clear", "Classic in the broader sitcom sense",  +1/2 for a real sketch + 1 for my face when he has two tea urns +1 ushering the reverend away "Don't ever go back", + 1/2 moment for the elbow slapping)

• Episode 6 ("Funny",  "Dipped", "Fine", "Sleeper build", + 1 for "any women there? There better be, I'm not dancing with you". + 1 for not being polite talking with mouth full + "it's not the same is it", +1 for weaping Ashwood + 1 for bathing suits + 1 for pirate fever dream + 1 for putting chutney on his legs)

• Episode 7 ("Terribly", "P.C.", "Robust", "Tippy", + 1 for scaring Ashwood with a SHUT UP + 1 for war being hell + 1 for some jolly jogging + 1 for very sad sincere moment + 1 viva la france + 1 for minding your Ps and Qs + 1 for an Ashwood impression from Ramzan + 1 for still being quite possibly bored + 1 for parachute scam reveal) 

• Season 7

• ("No", "Minor difficulties", "Lobsided", "Rehash", + 1 for Nazi Chai Wallah + 1 for being thrown off the stage + 2 for supressing the concert party + 1 yew dirty raet)

• ("Saulright", "Sure", "Good", "Reasonable", + 1 "surely they're not going to put him down?!" + 1 for being too many big rocks in the jungle + 1 for skinning my nose + 1 Charles Smith moment + 1 Nosher vs Needle + 1 oh you silly arse + 1 John Clegg X Ashwood) 

• ("Yeah that definitely was above average", "No", "Solid", "Sure yeah", + 1 for "this sort of talk makes me feel sick", + "oh gosh" upon looking at Ashwood, + 1 "SWINE, unprincipled SWINE!" + 1 pray to Allah to give me strength (hate wife(s)) + 1 for sorting it all out for Nosher + 1 for listening in on Lofty + 1 dead monkeybird?? + 1 soviet tent montage + 1 oo heck + 1 Gnr Parkins putting out the fire with petrol) 

• ("Not really", "For the most part", "Lagged", "N/A" +1 for angry Ashwood react + 1 *deadpan* "Yes I agree" + 1 for not saying poof + 1 for a beastly little man)

• ("Turbulant", "7/10 where 10 is the most PC episode so far", "Backloaded", "Classic tramp and the dog" - 1 for watching the concert party, 0 ashwood moments for glass cake + 1 for god rest her soul + 1 for evil Ashwood + 1 SNSFSTSGWP + thing & indian thing + 1 for pulling the cloth trick)

• ("🙂", "No", "Uniform distribution" "♻️", -1 for a bad episode, + 1 for happy sgtmjr + 1 "maintain radio silence!" "that's rather rude!" + 1 William Sugden)

• Season 8 

• Episode One - Funny: "Quite", PC: "Marred", Structure: "Decent", Premise: "Splendid", Ashwood Moments: + 1 for counting the rice, + 1 for the boy being a blithering idiot + 1 for questioning the EngLit major + 1 for that old boar the Brigadier + 1 for Sugden being a nasty little pervert + 1 for a pretty little swaying boy + 1 for biting the snake.

• Episode Two - Funny: "Not really", PC: "The most PC episode thus far", Structure: "Structured", Premise: "Great to see all of them be nice to Gunner Graham, even if it was under false pretenses. And I did like the proverb at the end with Mohammed doing the head-shake, classic Wallah behaviour.", Ashwood Moments:  +1 for being cross at you rotters "Well done Ashwood" + 1 gay debonair young prince from Heidelberg University + 1 "you wise guy" "Well done Ashwood, you've done it again!" + 1 for "look here Graham, what's wrong with you?" + 1 laundrodomme scheme + 1 for a threesome proposition from the Colonel and his boyfriend + 1 "I thought they were supposed to use the inside of the coconut!" + 1 🧐 It's only a musical pause 🎹 + 1 for the crime of robbing Rangi Ram post-humously of his ONE gimmick 

• Episode Three - Funny: "Yes, very", PC: "Poof-pilled, minor joke at expense of Jews", Structure: "Fine", Premise: "Delivered. Repeat, but improvement on a repeat", Ashwood Moments: +1 for making kissing noises during love scenes + 1 for Corr Blimey, you wouldn't've half given her one? + 1 for passing the little Dutch boy + 1 for Ah Syn the flare man, + 1 for blowing out the smoke grenades + 1 for yoinking Mohammed out of his box (+ 1 for rest in peace John Clegg + 1 "oh dear, how sad, nevermind")

• Episode Four - Funny: "Yeah!", PC: "No!", Structure: "I thought so", Premise: "Historical event, world tension lowered, Hiroo Onoda  moment", Ashwood Moment: + 1 for nuking the Japanese,  + 1 for driving down the back-roads drunk + 1 war is over party: 5 beer, 1 peach in very thick syrup, 2 evaporated milk, 4 chocolate bar + 1 for the mid-episode Land of Hope and Glory, -1 for missing the gala, +1 for Tiger Reynolds and Captain "Blood and Guts" Ashwood + 1 for waheeeeeeeeeeeee + 1 for planning to killing the Sergeant Major + 1 for I'm desperate when I'm roused + 1 for I have cum + 1 for sending Winston Churchill on a fast plane + 1 for Ashwood calling the Jap a socialist 

• Episode Five - Funny: "Euughhhhh, good whack-a-mole bit", PC: "(hu)h", Structure: "Beoutifuhl", Premise: "Eating ass / serialised ", Ashwood moments: + 1 for Lofty painting the tree + 1 for a sick-knobbly-knees-comeback + 1 "well, not in our bedroom [brackets: more gay subtext]", + 1 Mohammed: fine pair of shoulders SgtMaj: Well I can't argue with that + 1 whack-a-mole in the basher, asking for his call

• Episode Six - Funny: "Good; Harrowing", PC: "Pretty much", Structure: "Good", Premise: "Good", Ashwood moments: +1 "You've nothing to go home for urgently?" for deadpan lofty + 1 Ashwood/Reynolds lovers tiff + 1 Lofty goodbye scene (sad; harrowing) + 1 Ashwood singing funny face + 1 "Fine pair of shoulders" joke flies over head of the MP Sergeant + 2 for The Mohammed Incident

• It Ain't Half Hot Mum - S08E07 - The Last Roll Call.mp4 

  • Ashwood Moments:

    • When they were on the boat looking off, "don't tell me they sent him as well" (r.e. God)

    • Ashwood- Karen saga

    • I DO NOT HAVE A HEART BECAUSE YOU BROKE IT.

    • Coal is NOT filthy in the british army - GLEAMING GLEAMING GLEAMING

    • Gunner uhh Gunner uhh Sugden sir

    • Ashton's quivering lip, then immedietly cheery (BPD)

    • Synchronised hat-trying scene, he's a rolemodel

    • Sweet final good byes

    • Finishing up the lovely shoulders arc

    • Goodbye team including Mohammed (PBUH)

  • Funny

    • Robert: "Yes it was kinda funny, it was undercut a little bit  by the sincerity of it all, being a finale"

    • Fengpo: "Depressing"

    • Emily: "Sincere"

    • Alex: "Sublime"

    • Cyrus: "Not very funny, some good moments mind"

  • PC

    • Robert: "Erm, I mean the 'P word' was thrown around but it was all in good fun"

    • Fengpo: "Probably, I don't know"

    • Emily: "A couple of heart-felt poofs"

    • Alex: "A couple of heart-felt poofs"

    • Cyrus: "Could've been better"

  • Structure

    • Robert: "Phoaw, it was a regular length episode - 30 minutes - it had a beginning, middle, and end... no complaints regarding structure"

    • Fengpo: ""

    • Emily: "Yeah flowed alright"

    • Alex: "Fitting"

    • Cyrus: "Yeah I thought so"

  • Premise

    • Robert: "well they were going back to England, then they were in the train station... did that say premise or premises?"

    • Fengpo: "How come Rob gets his proper first name and RaDoye gets the shortened form?"

    • Emily: "Very unique-set-heavy... premise"

    • Alexander: "Big budget"

    • Cyrus: "Provided closure"

• Emily: 3.7/10 "I would've rated higher but I hate the white race"